I’m a nosey person.  I think you have to be in order to be a genealogist.  You have to question everything and trust no one.  I had a horrible habit of snooping in my maternal grandmother’s house when I visited.  I came across a letter written to my mother when she was young.  It was a letter from a father to his daughter but when I got to the end of the letter it wasn’t signed by the man I always knew was my grandmother’s husband.  I was so confused and without thinking of the repercussions for snooping, I asked who this person was claiming to be my mother’s father.

He was not a nice person, simply put, and he chose not to be a part of my grandmother and mother’s lives.  My father attempted to inform him of the births of his grandchildren, with no response.  That was the end of that, according to my father he was given more than enough chances to get in touch and so my elders took it upon themselves to keep him from the children, he never existed.  I can understand that but boy was my head spinning.

I decided to write to him.  I explained that I was researching the family history and I would like to get the information he had on his family.  The day I wrote the letter, our home phone rang.  My brother answered it.  Later, I asked him who it was and with confusion in his voice, he said it was our grandfather? He wanted to talk to our mother.  She wasn’t home so my brother took the message.  The first time I attempt contact with this man, he calls our house?  What is that?

He wanted to make up for his past sins because he knew he was dying.  He wanted my mother in his life.  I did not pry so I don’t really know how the relationship ended.  For two years we were in touch, especially me, trying to get more family information.  He was very forthcoming and helped me immensely.

When he died, his wife gave me some of his things; eyeglasses, wallets (nothing in them), pictures, the sign in book for his viewing, nothing that could document who he was but provided insight into his persona.  She did, however, give me other things, such as his military records, a photo album from World War II with writing in it and other documents.  My grandfather was a Marine stationed in the South Pacific during WWII.

These documents are crucial to back up your family’s story.  If family members offer them to you, take them.  Even if you don’t think they will help at the time.  Once you start talking you become the family historian and you have an obligation to preserve your family’s history, documents, and keepsakes.